Life. {late night thinking}

To set the scene:

A family of four stands outside Minute Maid Park awaiting the Houston Astros to come out for autographs. It is late, well past the bedtime of the two youngest members of this crazy family. The boy's face lights up when each player drives past in their car.

sign my baseball, please, Mr.???

Most do not stop. I am certain they want to be home to relax and see their family. The boy is thankful for those that do stop to make this a worthwhile experience.

The Mom.

She does not really care about autographs or if she gets to see the player...so she is just taking in the sights. This is what she is left to ponder.

life.

Everyone that works for the Astros or Minute Maid Park come out of the same garage. Some are the nice people that work the food booth, or the ushers that help patrons to their seat, and then some are the famed players. There were many that came out wearing their team t-shirt. They sported red t-shirts to identify others of their specific job, whatever it was. Another team wore white shirts. Most of these players (if you will) walked out of the garage, carrying their clear purses/bags, and headed across the street to sit and wait on the bus. Not one of us asked for their autograph. Seriously, not even a mere hello was given. Of course, it did not phase them a bit.

Every 15 minutes or so the crowd would get the honor to see a player drive through. He would wave and the crowd would show their adoration. As stated earlier, they seemed relieved for time to escape to the safe haven of home. I would be too. Most of them had regular nice cars. Some of them were lavish. From a spectator point of view their life could seem pretty perfect.

My thought is

what makes life so different, you know for different poeple...

To me, all these people, were in fact, just people. They all work at the same place. They all come out of the same garage. Yet, they come out to completely different worlds.

Why is it that the people who do the dirty work get paid the least? Why is it that athletes get paid millions to play a sport that most of them love?

I am still left a little struck. The why is getting to me. So there you have it, something to think on today...why.

This does not change our love for the Astros or for the Workers of the Astros. It was just a little late night thinking about life.

Singing the Blues

I can't live if living is without you. I can't live, I can't live anymore...

(Do you remember that song?)

I am singing the blues tonight. I am deep blue about my lack of DVR. I have missed so many shows that I am used to watching when boredom hits. I found out that I missed Oprah's interview with Lisa Beamer and Mary Winkler. I love interviews. I am a stalker at heart. I caught just a moment of the view today only to find out they have two new co-hosts. Just when did that happen?

I am also singing the blues at the lack of rewind skills with a DVR. I am truly spoiled and evidently am pretty addicted to television. My brain is going through a stage of detox from the world that lives in the small box. I guess that could be a good thing.

One side note: While I was blogging Ernest was reading (what a man!). While reading he came upon a picture stuck in the book of Chibwede. Chibwede is our Compassion child. So here I was talking about my lack of DVR and how sad I am when Chibwede graces my heart. I am truly in want of nothing. It is true, I am a little spoiled.

Thank you, Chibwede, for bringing my mind into focus.


God, you are so good, with or without a DVR.

under contract

Our house is officially under contract! We were called today with, catch this, two offers. Can you feel me smiling?

The speaking went great. I was the youngest one in the ladies meeting by far. FAR. I think they got a kick out of me, as I did of them.

I have a date with Esther and Beth tomorrow night. I can't wait. This is a definite plus to being in Houston.

chasing.

This is Good News

even if it doesn't sound like it or even feel like it...

The position that we have been holding out for is a no go. The funding did not come in as it was thought to. The President of the College spoke to us on Tuesday and let us know. His heart was heavy, I thought that was sweet. He even mentioned that he had wanted to bring us up sooner but now it is good that he didn't. There would have been no way to pay us.

Yes, my heart was hurt, and well, even crushed. I choose to believe God. I know we have been asking him to shut doors that he doesn't want us to go through. He did just that.

Our hearts have been bonded with the students at this school. God will bring the reason to pass. He knows more than we could ever imagine. We trust.

Please pray for us as we continue this journey. Pray that we would stay close to Him, and be free to hear His will and not ours.

We are looking back to remember the first dreams/visions of this ministry. After looking back we see a lot of decisions that we have made out of pure fear of failure. Clarity...that is what we need.

Just thought I would update. (There may be a sell house update soon)

To Attain More (and more)

**Edited**(at bottom)
We have had plenty of time to do lots of thinking. Some might argue that we are doing too much thinking. O well.

God is stirring and mixing every emotion we have. I think that is good. Not really easy, but good.

When we sell our home we will have the great privilege to be completely debt free. I cannot even imagine my life without school bills. Our plan is to stay that way. Telling this was not my point of this post, I promise. We are just excited about the opportunity to be free from the bills. It makes us able to pursue any place that God desires to take us. That is what you call an adventure. We have a missions degree and are open to those possibilities. We, of course, don't want to go anywhere God is not sending us. We are just waiting. Today the wait is exciting.

Even if we do not pursue a mission field (maybe Haiti) then we have made a decision to live simply here. I don't think this will be a problem considering that we have always lived off of one salary. Most of our married time we have had one car. To think back we only had 2 the first year of marriage and then in Abilene. While in Missouri we were so close to school it really didn't matter. I am going to be flat out honest...I have always desired stuff. Nice stuff. I always say that I was born to be rich. If God did give me wealth, what would I do with it? This week I read a quote on a blog that said "live simply so others can simply live". That has been going over and over in my mind.

Our desire is to live and give. Dan, from Lift Student Ministries, always says that you have 20,000 days to live what are you going to do with them? Our answer is to give them in whatever way God leads.

**Edited to Add** I worried about this all night...I don't think it is wrong to have or desire nice things. These were thoughts coming out kind of scrambled. I do desire to live simply and the battle about it is raging in my mind. That is what I wanted to share. I hope that I didn't come off as arrogant.We all know that I am a lover of shopping. I just plan to spend wisely.**

The Week In Review

My mind (as usual) is flooded with more than I can express.

Here are the toppers.

Adoption. Aaron & Jamie are beginning the process for their adoption. Our heart yearns to begin but we are still in the waiting of that too. Our minds have been dreaming on ways that we can start the process. Why is this so heavy if at the moment we have no way of answering. Or is there a way and we are just not seeing it? The feelings are definitely rekindled and burning hot.

Swap. I signed up for an online swap. It is kind of like secret friends but online. I needed a cheery something in the mail so why not??? Last night I had to create a list of my likes and dislikes. It was really hard. Why is that? Amanda maybe I will get you to buy for?

Ministry. Eager to return to work. Also, thinking how can I do ministry right here, right now? Am I wasting time just waiting around? What should I be doing?

God. Most of all my mind is centered on staying close. It has been so hard. At many moments I feel forgotten. My heart is sad and then I run to his word to remind the weepy heart of God's truth.

I heard a new song this week, The More I seek You. It may not be new to you but it is to me. Where have I been? I love this song. It speaks to every part of my desire. Listen and tell me what you think. I am a sap for love songs.



What else? What else?

The kids are loving school. That is great news. Here they are on the first day.



And last but not least...

I want to thank everyone that has commented, e-mailed, or myspaced me for encouragement. I have read them all and am truly grateful. I hope to getting around to responding personally. It has just been craziness around here.

Goodness on Saturday

We made the trek down to Galveston and spent the day at East Beach. I love the beach...any beach. There is just something about the sound that is so relaxing. The kids played and we all rode the waves. The best part of the beach experience was opening my bible and talking to God in the midst of all the sights and sounds of my favorite kind of place.
I loved being away with the family. The four of us sat and talked for hours. It has been a while since we have done that. As I am typing this my arms are feeling the pain of boogy boarding far too long yesterday.

 

 

We left the beach a little early because we wanted to visit a new church tonight. The church was Fellowship of the Woodlands. We went to their 7:30 emerge service. I really liked it...we are going to go back (if we are still here). Here is a picture of a water fountain in thier plaza.

 

The kids start school tomorrow. We are all a little bit on edge about it. I am sure that it will be fine. We will have to get there early to register them and take them to class. First days are always fun.

For updates sake...we have been doing a lot of thinking...

We are open to God's move. Whatever and however he moves....

We had some hoped for plans (they are still there) but are willing and open for anything.

Maybe that was one of the purposes for bringing us here.


He only knows our future...

I've got sunshine...

I just thought I would share that today was a good day. You are all so sweet to share verses with me. They are treasured.

My God is good. He is good to me. (and you)

On a funny note my 9 year old has now taken up knitting. I must say she is pretty good. It is so cute to see her walking around with her yarn and needle. She brings me joy.

Choice

I had one thing in mind when I sat down to type. As for now that one thing is now something different.

Life.

To the core of myself I am struggling. Struggling to pursue faith. Struggling to keep on believing. Right now, I am even wondering if I am going to post this.

Yesterday we packed all our clothes (Insert frustration here due to boychild longing for a glass of chocolate milk...okay I am back) and importants and drove ourselves to Houston. I cried as we gave the dog away and cried as we drove down the street. It didn't stop, the tears flowed as I was hanging clothes in the closet. At the moment I cannot grasp peace. What is that about? This is suppose to be the adventure of my life. At the present it does not feel much like that. Or maybe it does...just an adventure gone bad. Do I really mean this? I don't know. I cannot trust my emotions right now.

We arrived here early so to register our two in school before meet the teacher night. That is a no go. All their registrars are on training so they will not register until Monday morning. After some good advice today I think we are going to press on and attend meet the teacher anyway. We will just meet them all as well as find the lunch room and bathrooms.

Do you ever desire to just run to the store and purchase a faith injection?

I need to be running to the arms of my father but instead I feel myself pulling away. I hate this feeling. Lord, please change my heart. (and soon...) I need to do my devotional for the day. I have carried it with me all day I just have not done it. Picture me walking around my life carrying my purple duct tape bible and my 90 days with A Heart Like His.

Renew my spirit within me...i beg you...Father.

I know truth...I believe truth...YOU are truth. I am believing You. No matter what my emotions are saying at this moment...I choose YOU.

What verse do you long for when feeling faithless? I need some fighting words...will you help?

Usually when I am feeling really down I throw a praise party. The radio goes up and we dance till we laugh. We praise no matter the feeling present. I cannot do that here at the in-laws so let's praise him in typed word. I guess you could say that we will just dance our fingers away.

This would be a great time for my beloved lurkers to join in.

this.and.that

I made this using Big Huge Labs. The girl is completely in awe of American Girl stuff. She is saving her pennies for an American Girl doll. Her destination of dreams is NY City for a viewing of the famed American Girl Store. In her world there is God, Family, High School Musical, Limited Too, and American Girl. She loved the cover...what fun.

BTW...We are moving to Houston tomorrow. We are going to get our kids set up in school until we hear further news on the job front. We are waiting on one particular...if that does not pan through then we will go from there. Ernest will sub while there and I am going to delve in and learn all things photography. At least that is the plan for now. I have a writing thing on the back burner (far back) so you can keep that in your prayers.

Reflecting on Vacations Past

There is not a beach in my close future. Today we would have left four our week at S.Padre. It is kind of sad but very realistic that we do not go. The weather is going to be bad there plus we are still in the saving mode. We only lost out our deposit and the lady was very understanding. Thank you, God.

I know that sounds kind of down. Don't feel sorry for me...oh no! I have been richly blessed. Last summer was the summer of vacation. It was surreal even. So I am going to do a little feasting on what great fun that was. Wanna feast with me?

For starters, we camped at the bank of the Comal river (New Braunsfels). I sleep in a tent for 5 nights with my family. I loved it at it's best and hated it at it's
worst. We floated the river to our hearts content. The family vaca was ended with a weekend with friends in San Antonio. It was peaceful and free of stress.This was at the Riverwalk. I love this picture. Check out the big hair! That is what a week of camping will do to you.


Next, we hosted a misssions trip to Belgium. For celebration we had a day in Paris. I have a hunger to go back. The cobblestone roads alone draw my attention.
Romance in Paris

I can't believe I was there...

the boys

the girls

Flowers from the market in Brugge, Belgium.

Finally, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary we went on a cruise. It was a glorious five days cruising the ocean and ending in Mexican destinations. Talk about dreamy. I was alone with the man that I love...priceless.
Cozumel

Oh..for the love

Look at the darkness! I used spf30.

See what I mean? I have been vacation blessed.

What has been your favorite vaca?

Summer Afternoons and School Clothes

Can you believe they asked me? It's true. They asked to have their picture taken. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The catch was that they wanted to wear the school clothes we purchased yesterday. I am up for shooting on a lonely afternoon. So off to the park we went.
Look at these shoes! They are super cute. The sweet girl loves them. In case you cannot tell they are covered in hearts. In her words..."who cares if they don't match everything...!...they have hearts all over them!"
This girl is all about a great accessory. We found this headband at a new store called Zida. It is one of those in love stores.
Oh for the love. This boy steals my heart. He picked out this shirt from Ross. As soon as his eyes saw this it became his favorite. It will most likely be the shirt he wears every time it is clean. You know the one? Did you notice his new do? He got a faux hawk back when we were traveling with LIFT. He felt the need for some newness.
His football made the pic. It was easier than the ball and bat he wanted. I enjoy his love for sports. If only I understood more about them.
Do you ever feel like your heart lives in others? I believe it is the ones whom we love that carry our heart.

"Crash"

Okay, so my lovely wife has brought you up to date for the most part on what is going on in our lives. It has been some kind of week. It is crazy how much can change in 1 week. The one thing great about it is we see God's hand in it. I totally feel like Abram (Abraham) right now when God called him away without telling him where he was going.

I read a book recently by Erwin McManus called, The Barbarian Way. Throughout the book there was this really cool artwork that involved some rhinos. I kept wondering what it represented or if he just had a thing for rhinos. Towards the end of the book I received my answer.

He discussed the names of groups of various animals. For example, a group of whales is a pod. A group of vultures is a committee (interesting). And a group of rhinos is a crash. Rhinos can run very fast, especially for their size. When they get together they run full speed ahead. The only thing is that they can only see 30 ft. in front of them. So they run full speed not having a clue at what lies ahead. You may see where the name crash would then come into play.

As I was allowing my mind to wonder in thought it was like God said to me, "Here's your chance to be rhino!" We have no clue what lies ahead. Come August we have no idea where we will be living or what exactly we will be doing. All I know is that God is calling us to trust Him and run full speed ahead. May we crash into His perfect will for our lives.

Shoe Talk

Jamie I followed your lead. Here are my favorite shoes. I wear them more than any other pair I own. This is a photo tag from Adventures in Babywearing...so tag you are it.

I had to think long and hard about what shoes I wanted to post. These are my all around favorites, but truly, it is hard to choose just one pair. We-are-talking-shoes-here-ladies....

I am going to ask my mother-in-law what shoes are her favorite. If you are reading this comment your answer please. I am so curious which ones would hold the honor out of your numerous collection.

Have an amazing day. I am off to study and memorize.

Photo Blogs

I love photography blogs! I could look at them all day. Would you share your favorites with me. I will have to restrain myself to not go crazy and stay on the computer all day.

Thanks.

Pretty Baby

The itch is ever present! The itch to for a baby. We are praying about adoption and God's timing. For a long time we have thought we were done and now God seems to be opening our hearts to prepare for another. Our children love the idea of adopting a brother or sister. It was actually Carly's idea. We are just waiting to see where God takes this desire. We are open Lord...

With that being said, I was able to babysit one of the most beautiful babies today. I snapped a few photos of her and here are my favorites.

To Bunko or Not to Bunko

I walked into the room and to my surprise I found ladies going crazy. There was hooping and hollering that could be heard from blocks away. What am I getting myself into? These days have been so busy that time needed with girlfriends is few and far between. Because of this I took the plunge and dropped into bunko night at my church.

I have gathered after the experience that I am just not a bunko kind of girl. I cannot really say why. Maybe it is the fact that I could not grab hold of the point of the game. I guess I am more of the coffee and conversation kind of girl. Does it matter that I do not like coffee? Can we just hang with the fact that I absolutely love the smell of Starbucks. I want to love it, I really do.

I played two rounds of this game which lasted 2 hours. The game I did not enjoy but the conversation I loved. There was a funny point in the night when we started talking about family lines and somehow my crazy story came up. I so need to share that with you. I promise I will when I get the time.

What I do know is the ladies present at this party love the game. They came with their game face on. It was every man (woman) for herself once the bell rang. I think there should be a rule that you have to check your nails at the door. Serious damage can be done when fighting over who get the dice first.

I was lucky enough to get a bunko (all the dice land on the certain number you are going for) for that I got the privilege to wear the pearl necklace until someone else got one. At the end of the night I was announced as the one who lost the most. Do you think that has something to do with the way I feel about the game?

It was great fun just to be around other women. I love to hang out and learn a little about my sisters. For that my night was well spent.

Will I ever play bunko again? I am just not sure. Bribe me with some friends and I will do almost anything! In that case I guess it is a yes...Or a maybe? *laughing*

The Waiting Room

If you are a man you probably don't want to read this one!

The warm temperatures are gone. The sunny skies have given into a misty gray day. To be honest it has not been my favorite of days. I had to go to a Dr. appointment today. Yes you know the one. The one I dread all year long. I usually go in June, due to some abnormal tests results last June, I had to go back today.

My appointment was set for 10:00 a.m. I am almost positive that I got there right on time. I tell the nice lady at the counter my name and proceed to take my seat next to the fish tank. It was the only seat available. The room was full of women with big round bellies. Some days I miss that. Key word there is some. I don't know why but this day I chose to not thumb through the magazines. I guess I was just ready to get this over with and move on with more appealing aspects of the day. After a while the nice lady behind the desk tells me that the Dr. has gone to deliver a baby and would return in about 15 minutes. Really? 15 minutes and she will be back, that is quick!

So what did I do? I sat there some more...and some more. I couldn't get over the fact that I was waiting so long to go in and be humiliated beyond belief. It seems a little unreal. I ended up waiting for 1 hour and 15 minutes before I heard my name called. Forever.

To be honest I don't even know why I am writing about this. Sometimes I guess I just feel the need to talk.

Why do these interest me?

You think you know me?

Compliments of Jamie

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Movie Theater box office worker
2. Administrative Clerk
3. Chiropractic Assistant
4. Teacher Aide

Movies I would watch over and over:
5. Hope Floats
6. While you were sleeping
7. Beyond the Gates of Splendor (Documentary)
8. Ever After

*Honestly I am not a over and over movie watcher

Four places you have lived:
9. Abilene, Texas
10. Springfield, Missouri
11. New Caney, Texas
12. Humble, Texas

Four places you have been on vacation:
13. New Braunsfels
14. Possum Kingdom Lake (that still makes me laugh)
15. Los Angelas, California
16. Cozumel, Progresso (Cruise)

Four of my favorite foods are:
17. Avocados
18. Potatoes
19. Abuelos chicken enchilada
20. Olive Garden's Chicken Fettucinie

Four places I would rather be right now:
21. Vacation
22. On a great quite beach
23. Laying in a hammock
24. Listening to the soothing water and my children's laughter



Copy and paste on your own blog. Delete my answers and insert your own. Have fun!