worth the drive? YES.

Why is merging so hard for me?

I drove by myself to biblestudy tonight. You might be thinking big whoop-di-doo. Well it is a big deal here in these parts. Oh, let's just be honest, it is a big deal to me. I grew up in the outskirts of Houston and have driven through the city once or twice. I have always been a little on the scared side.

I was not about to let fear stop me. No sir.

I made it there and back alive. I may have made some people just a little mad on the way? No one honked at me. I think that is a good sign. Every time I had to merge I cringed with fear. Where did this come from? I don't know but I am ready for it to go away. We are going to drive it away.

The study was great. When it comes out we will have to chat all about it. I love the book of Esther so I am excited about studying it to the core.

I sat by two other ladies who were there alone. Their names were Stacy and Betty. I think they thought I was a little weird. I kept trying to talk to them because those poor things looked scared to death. It was both of their first time to Bible study. To say that they were taken was an understatement. I think they will be back. Who could resist? I mean really.

The lady on the other side must have just got a pedicure. I couldn't help but notice her bright red toes so nicely painted. Not to mention her red sandals. She was a sweet older lady who is not scared to hold the hand of a complete stranger. Have I ever stated how that is a fear of mine? Kidding. Well, sort of.

It was a great night for sure.

Beth, just in case you ever read this (or your daughter decides to tell you about this wacko driver who went to biblestudy), you hit it out of the park tonight. God in you is some greatness. Thank you for your faithfulness.

Going alone was a bit of difference for me. I am use to being in the mix with lots of sweet faces to share with. Tonight God was my companion. He was with me on all the crazy roads and he was there when my heart opened tenderly before him. What a prince he is. My life may be full of change right now but he is ever constant. I praise you, my sweet Jesus.

love.

under contract

Our house is officially under contract! We were called today with, catch this, two offers. Can you feel me smiling?

The speaking went great. I was the youngest one in the ladies meeting by far. FAR. I think they got a kick out of me, as I did of them.

I have a date with Esther and Beth tomorrow night. I can't wait. This is a definite plus to being in Houston.

my photo blog

Check this out.

Ripped Jean Monday

It is ripped jeans Monday.

I hope I see my momma today she will be so un-proud. You just gotta love that.

My mother-in-law doesn't like the days when I wear heels or dresses/skirts without pantyhose. Do I ever wear pantyhose? I must admit sometimes I do. You wouldn't know it. I wear them cut-off sometimes to tighten that need to do sit-ups stomach.

To be fair, she doesn't care if I do it, but she would never be caught dead without hose.

And to be fair, I only know this because I was teasing her about it. One day she tried wearing dress shoes without her hose and got blisters. I felt pretty bad.

Just out of curiosity, how tall are you? Yes, very random, that's me. I am curious to find out how short I really am, you know, in comparison to all of you. Would I be the shortest in the class?

In case you are now wondering...I am 5'1.

edited to say...ummm....I mean 5'2...

iChat, uChat

Do you like coffee? What about chatting with friends?

Well grab some coffee (or something) and let's chat. I am needing some conversation. Do you ever feel that way?

................

Here is some great news. It is past due but great none the less. Last weekend we went back to Abilene to pack up our personal belongings. It was a good quick trip. Our house is being sub leased to a couple whose roof caved in. They are staying in our home for a few months or until it sells. They are even renting our furniture because all of theirs was ruined. It seems to work out for the both of us. The perfect part of this sits here...The money they are paying for the house came in perfect time for the next months mortgage. We hadn't been worried about the payment until this month. God provided. We have been without an official paycheck for a month and a half yet God has provided all our needs and more.

On other house news...

Our realtor called last week and told us to be expecting an offer on our home. That is super exciting!

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This past friday we were blessed to spend the day at Tranquility Park. If you have not viewed the slideshow just look below at the chasing blog. God met us there. He is faithful and in the moment he renewed our strength. He took us back to the birth of the dream that resides in our heart. It was to travel and speak to teenagers. It seems simple enough but it is forever scary. Somewhere on the way there we decided that we needed a job to secure financing. The perfect plan is to find one that would fulfill our dream as well as money right???

That was our reasoning.

For the moment it does not seem like God is desiring that. We promised that we would pursue this vision and prompting set before us. No matter how scared we are. We still have resumes out there and if God desires for us to take a position he will show us but for now we are going out on our own. Whew. That is hard to type.

I would love to show you the direct way that He reaffirmed this to us. That post would be way too long.

Shortly after walking in the door we received a call about speaking to a men's/woman's banquet. Coincidence? If you remember tomorrow night say a word of prayer for us as we share our love with new faces.

Just for notes sake...We are nothing special, nor do we think we are...we are just Jesus lovers with a dream and a mind to pursue it. I hate the even faintest idea that you would think of us to be showy. It is not my desire. The showiness that we posses is grace, HIS grace. He has bestowed much. I mean much as in HUGE>>>>HUGER>>>if that was a word.

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Houston anyone? Is anyone going to biblestudy @HFB on Tuesday Night?

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Has anyone seen the Nanny Diaries? Any good?

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Reading any good books lately?


Talk Back...I would love to hear from you.

chasing.

This is Good News

even if it doesn't sound like it or even feel like it...

The position that we have been holding out for is a no go. The funding did not come in as it was thought to. The President of the College spoke to us on Tuesday and let us know. His heart was heavy, I thought that was sweet. He even mentioned that he had wanted to bring us up sooner but now it is good that he didn't. There would have been no way to pay us.

Yes, my heart was hurt, and well, even crushed. I choose to believe God. I know we have been asking him to shut doors that he doesn't want us to go through. He did just that.

Our hearts have been bonded with the students at this school. God will bring the reason to pass. He knows more than we could ever imagine. We trust.

Please pray for us as we continue this journey. Pray that we would stay close to Him, and be free to hear His will and not ours.

We are looking back to remember the first dreams/visions of this ministry. After looking back we see a lot of decisions that we have made out of pure fear of failure. Clarity...that is what we need.

Just thought I would update. (There may be a sell house update soon)

To Attain More (and more)

**Edited**(at bottom)
We have had plenty of time to do lots of thinking. Some might argue that we are doing too much thinking. O well.

God is stirring and mixing every emotion we have. I think that is good. Not really easy, but good.

When we sell our home we will have the great privilege to be completely debt free. I cannot even imagine my life without school bills. Our plan is to stay that way. Telling this was not my point of this post, I promise. We are just excited about the opportunity to be free from the bills. It makes us able to pursue any place that God desires to take us. That is what you call an adventure. We have a missions degree and are open to those possibilities. We, of course, don't want to go anywhere God is not sending us. We are just waiting. Today the wait is exciting.

Even if we do not pursue a mission field (maybe Haiti) then we have made a decision to live simply here. I don't think this will be a problem considering that we have always lived off of one salary. Most of our married time we have had one car. To think back we only had 2 the first year of marriage and then in Abilene. While in Missouri we were so close to school it really didn't matter. I am going to be flat out honest...I have always desired stuff. Nice stuff. I always say that I was born to be rich. If God did give me wealth, what would I do with it? This week I read a quote on a blog that said "live simply so others can simply live". That has been going over and over in my mind.

Our desire is to live and give. Dan, from Lift Student Ministries, always says that you have 20,000 days to live what are you going to do with them? Our answer is to give them in whatever way God leads.

**Edited to Add** I worried about this all night...I don't think it is wrong to have or desire nice things. These were thoughts coming out kind of scrambled. I do desire to live simply and the battle about it is raging in my mind. That is what I wanted to share. I hope that I didn't come off as arrogant.We all know that I am a lover of shopping. I just plan to spend wisely.**

The Week In Review

My mind (as usual) is flooded with more than I can express.

Here are the toppers.

Adoption. Aaron & Jamie are beginning the process for their adoption. Our heart yearns to begin but we are still in the waiting of that too. Our minds have been dreaming on ways that we can start the process. Why is this so heavy if at the moment we have no way of answering. Or is there a way and we are just not seeing it? The feelings are definitely rekindled and burning hot.

Swap. I signed up for an online swap. It is kind of like secret friends but online. I needed a cheery something in the mail so why not??? Last night I had to create a list of my likes and dislikes. It was really hard. Why is that? Amanda maybe I will get you to buy for?

Ministry. Eager to return to work. Also, thinking how can I do ministry right here, right now? Am I wasting time just waiting around? What should I be doing?

God. Most of all my mind is centered on staying close. It has been so hard. At many moments I feel forgotten. My heart is sad and then I run to his word to remind the weepy heart of God's truth.

I heard a new song this week, The More I seek You. It may not be new to you but it is to me. Where have I been? I love this song. It speaks to every part of my desire. Listen and tell me what you think. I am a sap for love songs.



What else? What else?

The kids are loving school. That is great news. Here they are on the first day.



And last but not least...

I want to thank everyone that has commented, e-mailed, or myspaced me for encouragement. I have read them all and am truly grateful. I hope to getting around to responding personally. It has just been craziness around here.

Goodness on Saturday

We made the trek down to Galveston and spent the day at East Beach. I love the beach...any beach. There is just something about the sound that is so relaxing. The kids played and we all rode the waves. The best part of the beach experience was opening my bible and talking to God in the midst of all the sights and sounds of my favorite kind of place.
I loved being away with the family. The four of us sat and talked for hours. It has been a while since we have done that. As I am typing this my arms are feeling the pain of boogy boarding far too long yesterday.

 

 

We left the beach a little early because we wanted to visit a new church tonight. The church was Fellowship of the Woodlands. We went to their 7:30 emerge service. I really liked it...we are going to go back (if we are still here). Here is a picture of a water fountain in thier plaza.

 

The kids start school tomorrow. We are all a little bit on edge about it. I am sure that it will be fine. We will have to get there early to register them and take them to class. First days are always fun.

For updates sake...we have been doing a lot of thinking...

We are open to God's move. Whatever and however he moves....

We had some hoped for plans (they are still there) but are willing and open for anything.

Maybe that was one of the purposes for bringing us here.


He only knows our future...

I've got sunshine...

I just thought I would share that today was a good day. You are all so sweet to share verses with me. They are treasured.

My God is good. He is good to me. (and you)

On a funny note my 9 year old has now taken up knitting. I must say she is pretty good. It is so cute to see her walking around with her yarn and needle. She brings me joy.

Choice

I had one thing in mind when I sat down to type. As for now that one thing is now something different.

Life.

To the core of myself I am struggling. Struggling to pursue faith. Struggling to keep on believing. Right now, I am even wondering if I am going to post this.

Yesterday we packed all our clothes (Insert frustration here due to boychild longing for a glass of chocolate milk...okay I am back) and importants and drove ourselves to Houston. I cried as we gave the dog away and cried as we drove down the street. It didn't stop, the tears flowed as I was hanging clothes in the closet. At the moment I cannot grasp peace. What is that about? This is suppose to be the adventure of my life. At the present it does not feel much like that. Or maybe it does...just an adventure gone bad. Do I really mean this? I don't know. I cannot trust my emotions right now.

We arrived here early so to register our two in school before meet the teacher night. That is a no go. All their registrars are on training so they will not register until Monday morning. After some good advice today I think we are going to press on and attend meet the teacher anyway. We will just meet them all as well as find the lunch room and bathrooms.

Do you ever desire to just run to the store and purchase a faith injection?

I need to be running to the arms of my father but instead I feel myself pulling away. I hate this feeling. Lord, please change my heart. (and soon...) I need to do my devotional for the day. I have carried it with me all day I just have not done it. Picture me walking around my life carrying my purple duct tape bible and my 90 days with A Heart Like His.

Renew my spirit within me...i beg you...Father.

I know truth...I believe truth...YOU are truth. I am believing You. No matter what my emotions are saying at this moment...I choose YOU.

What verse do you long for when feeling faithless? I need some fighting words...will you help?

Usually when I am feeling really down I throw a praise party. The radio goes up and we dance till we laugh. We praise no matter the feeling present. I cannot do that here at the in-laws so let's praise him in typed word. I guess you could say that we will just dance our fingers away.

This would be a great time for my beloved lurkers to join in.

this.and.that

I made this using Big Huge Labs. The girl is completely in awe of American Girl stuff. She is saving her pennies for an American Girl doll. Her destination of dreams is NY City for a viewing of the famed American Girl Store. In her world there is God, Family, High School Musical, Limited Too, and American Girl. She loved the cover...what fun.

BTW...We are moving to Houston tomorrow. We are going to get our kids set up in school until we hear further news on the job front. We are waiting on one particular...if that does not pan through then we will go from there. Ernest will sub while there and I am going to delve in and learn all things photography. At least that is the plan for now. I have a writing thing on the back burner (far back) so you can keep that in your prayers.

Reflecting on Vacations Past

There is not a beach in my close future. Today we would have left four our week at S.Padre. It is kind of sad but very realistic that we do not go. The weather is going to be bad there plus we are still in the saving mode. We only lost out our deposit and the lady was very understanding. Thank you, God.

I know that sounds kind of down. Don't feel sorry for me...oh no! I have been richly blessed. Last summer was the summer of vacation. It was surreal even. So I am going to do a little feasting on what great fun that was. Wanna feast with me?

For starters, we camped at the bank of the Comal river (New Braunsfels). I sleep in a tent for 5 nights with my family. I loved it at it's best and hated it at it's
worst. We floated the river to our hearts content. The family vaca was ended with a weekend with friends in San Antonio. It was peaceful and free of stress.This was at the Riverwalk. I love this picture. Check out the big hair! That is what a week of camping will do to you.


Next, we hosted a misssions trip to Belgium. For celebration we had a day in Paris. I have a hunger to go back. The cobblestone roads alone draw my attention.
Romance in Paris

I can't believe I was there...

the boys

the girls

Flowers from the market in Brugge, Belgium.

Finally, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary we went on a cruise. It was a glorious five days cruising the ocean and ending in Mexican destinations. Talk about dreamy. I was alone with the man that I love...priceless.
Cozumel

Oh..for the love

Look at the darkness! I used spf30.

See what I mean? I have been vacation blessed.

What has been your favorite vaca?

Sunsets and Rainbows

Psalm 103:1-5
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

I praise his name. He gave us beauty tonight. Here is a view from our front porch. We went out to walk away from the norm and spend some time. He is so faithful to meet us where we are. The absolute coolest part happened when we walked out to the road for a closer view, it was almost more than my heart could take, then we turned around to find more. He gave us even more! A full rainbow was placed right over our house. Beauty. I captured just a bit of it before it was gone.

Don't you just love him.

Heritage from a MAN to his BOY.

I am married to an amazing man who was once a mischievous little boy. It is great truth that he grew in stature but also in craftiness. I stand amazed at the stories he has to tell about the things that he did. Much laughter.

He grew up a pastor's son which meant that he did not miss church. God love him, there were many times he felt the need to entertain. So entertain he did! Once during worship he thought up a jewel of an idea. I can picture his face fill with that smirk smile. While the congregation was standing he placed a straight pin in a very strategic place...right where his mom would be sitting. I had to stop and laugh a bit just for the mere thought. Soon enough the entertainment ensued with the scream and jump of his mother, the pastor's wife. Can we just chuck it up to the holy spirit? She was filled all right. To this day this man takes much pride in sharing this story. Oh what a joy to be his mother. She must have laughed much. If you think this is something we could top it. Oh yes, there is more, like the time his father was preaching on suicide. Let's just say that this ended in a trip to the emergency room during the middle of service.

Prankster, enough said.

This boy is now a father. A father to a young boy. The joy continues! I must say that Colton is crazy at times and then again shy at times. He is either all or nothing. Lately I have been watching this little guy learn the craft of his father. His heritage of pranksterness.

One night I was relaxing up in the loft when I heard what could only be described as shreeks coming from the Carly's room. I could not get there fast enough. Her voice was in sheer pain as she cried. I got in there and saw her holding and bunch of little tacks in her hand. She looks up at me and immediately I understood. They were in her bed. Placed there for her to find by the sensation only they could give. Who would do such a thing? Colton. Yes, you guessed it, the boy found his way. Without hesitation I ran into his room and immediately he found the error of his ways. I didn't even have to say a word my presence over his bed was more than enough. His eyes matched mine and we both knew...

All of this was dealt with while the Man of the House sat on our bed laughing in silence. His grin was huge and his pride even larger. That's my boy! I could read the thought all over the smirk that had settled on his face.

That night will go down in our history. The story will be told many times over the years. No matter how distorted and stretched that it becomes it will always live in our memory. The memory of four people that lived in a house full of love and craziness. Priceless.

I shall praise even still...

We are in a peculiar place in life right now. Sort of like a crossroads waiting to see which turn to take and where that will lead us. There is a specific opportunity we have been praying about as well as our house selling. We truly felt that yesterday was the day. We were suppose to receive a phone call about this opportunity and on Sunday we had an open house with a lot of people coming through. We really were confident that we would receive both phone calls yesterday. We talked about it, prayed about it, expected it. We were even told to be expecting the call about the opportunity. Anyways, the minute ticked by. The hours came and left and at the end of the day not one phone call. I couldn't believe it. Why? I really don't know why.

As I was driving in the car yesterday evening, kind of internally pouting about the whole situation, I felt God ask, "So, no phone calls, will you praise me even still?" I had to think a little bit and then had to respond with a , "Yes, Lord, I will still praise You."

It is not always easy. I won't even pretend to understand it. But I do praise my Lord. Trusting Him.

some googleness

What is your homepage? I use igoogle and I love it. I do. Not like I love my husband but you know love in the really like kind of way. Why did I feel the need to expound on that? O well...I feel better.

You can choose from all sorts of gadgets. One of the gadgets that I have is google reader (I use this instead of bloglines). As soon as I click online I am updated on blogs that have updated. Good stuff. I also have google talk (people get on there) and my email gadget. For fun we have hang-man and post-it notes. I could live on this page. Amanda over at Oh Amanda is the one who showed me the way. I must say she is pretty smart. :). Also, if you have igoggle, make your own personal gadget (click here) and share it with me. I would share mine with you, but well, I don't know how to do that just yet.

I know this is a random post. Yea for randomness and on that note yea for all things google.

49 years

Today is my parents 49th Anniversary.

Amazing.

At the edge of my seat...

My man is coming home. He has been gone for 5 nights. I miss him...to say the least.

Also, be praying, someone came by to look at our house today. Who knows? Maybe this is the day!!!

Here is a look at my to-do list:
1. sell house
2. find job
3. buy house

So happy...I could sing a song.