Friday, February 23, 2007

In the days to come

Today there are many questions on my mind. Questions that, in truth, will have no answer soon. I feel the complete presence of God, and the tightness of his hands molding.

I have known God for most of my life. Even so, It was not until my young adult life that I truly learned him. I decided to search him out for myself. He was there waiting for me. Thrilled. Together we began a different kind of relationship. It was the beginning stages of transformation. I was just a young thing with two babies in tow. My husband and I were in bible college and were working on staff at a great church.

I thought life was just going to be rosy from that point on. We had a great life. I had constant communication and love with my heavenly father. I could not imagine it any better. I was doing the God thing and loving every minute of it.

Now I know that God drew me close to him to prepare me. I was going to be in desperate need of him. I did not know it, but he did. Soon enough my perfect life seemed to fall apart. In moments everything changed. If I had not been walking close to my father I seriously do not where I would be today.

In spite of life situations, I grew closer and closer. I learned the meaning of Christ being all that I needed. I would not trade those tender moments for anything. I also do not want to ever relive them. Do you know those kind of times?

The mistakes that were made echoed out loud. Our life was an open book. I do believe that God allowed this for many reasons. For a very private person, it was very hard.

That season of life is over. Most days it does not even cloud my thoughts. It seems I always want to close the book on it. God does not. He keeps going in and opening it up. When I think he has taught me every lesson out of this place, I am wrong. He reminds me, Oh no we can reach deeper. Sometimes deeper hurts.

This is stirred up in my heart because yet again I face the end of my strength. His love and overwhelming desire push me on to be more...and to do more than I think possible. This weekend will be one of those definite moments of stretching. I hope to be pretty limber on Monday.

(If you are reading this please don't take this in the wrong way. I am sure you feel the same way.)

In Jeremiah sits mine and my husband's life verse, Jeremiah 32:17. Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and earth by your great power and outstreched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. My bible actually opens to this page out of habit. Page 840 is well read. Nothing is too hard for my God. Nothing. Nothing that I believe is impossible or hurtful. What satan meant for destruction my God can turn and use for his greatness. I live to bear his love to another. May it be so in the minutes to come.

Thank you for listening.


Ernest said...

You truly are special. I love you and pray for you.

Shelly said...

Debra, I love to read your blogs. They are up lifting and challenge to me all at the same time. I long to know more and more about my God.
Thanks for sharing.