Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Ramblings from a mother's heart

I am sitting here with a heavy heart.

It seems we have hit this stage of stress between the girl and me. I, of course, love her to pieces. She seems to be struggling right now. It is affecting her school work and attitude. I desire her to feel like the true princess she is. The problem with that is she seems to be getting into trouble often. It seems like when she needs the most love she is getting the most grief. I feel like I end up hurting her more than helping her. My heart aches. She is growing up and her emotions are kind of crazy. This is really her first sense of girlie emotions.

This is where I need your prayers. Yes you, my readers, all 4 of you. I am a perfectionist of sorts and I tend to throw that onto her. I need to join a support group or something. She needs me to lavish love upon her but instead I am pushing her on to work harder. I want her to be the best she can be but please pray that I will keep that line sacred. She was a child that was certain about her place and strength. It seems that she has hit a wall of the unknown. The wall of "it is just too hard".

There is no greater purpose in my life than to be a mother to this child. Not just any mother, a good one. I want to model the love of Christ to her.

Tomorrow is a big day for her. She is going to the daddy/daughter dance. We have bought her a new outfit and to her greatest excitement dangly earrings.

We have a date set to look up new verses for her note cards. She already knows the amazing power of having God's word handy on a 3x5.

You may be wondering why I am writing this or even why you are reading this. It is weird. I am at a place in my life where I am without close friendships. I have a few close friends but they all live far away. Maybe that is why you are reading this, to be my friend for the day. I sound desperate, I know, at this point I guess I am.

One thing I am certain of...God is in control.

3 comments:

Terri @ In His Hands said...

I don't even know how I found your blog, maybe the LMP blog comments? Anyway, I enjoy reading so I thought I would let you know that I will be praying for you and your daughter.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7

Amanda and Jackson said...

Debra, I have no wisdom but I will pray for you. I feel your pain. I hope the dance and the earrings and the dress are so great! I still remember the one time my dad and I did that. So sweet...

Karina said...

Being a mother is soo hard, yet so rewarding too. As I prayed for you, I prayed for me and my daughters as well.