Looking up

I am just sitting here thinking about life and all it possesses. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns. One thing that is constant about life is change. I read a devotional by Max Lucado recently that talked about the Israelites wondering in the wilderness and as they began to gripe, complain and murmur they looked up and it was raining manna. God had showed up and provided for their needs. He challenged the reader to look up when they were in doubt because God knows our need and He will provide. Sometimes I feel like I look up and all I see are gray clouds.

Last night I was outside with my wife and we looked up and the sky was bright blue and there were big fluffy white clouds. In front of each white cloud stood (or floated) a gray cloud just as fluffy. As we joked about how we feel that way sometimes I realized that even though there were gray clouds blocking the white clouds were still there. The same is true with God. Sometimes our life gets crazy or we find ourselves at a place where the future seems unclear and from our human perspective all we notice is the gray clouds but God is still there the whole time. In the midst of pain, in the midst of doubt, in the midst of gray clouds our God is still there shining as white as ever and in control of all things.

I have been asking God to help me to trust Him more and to take me to a place of following him more closely and intimately. Now I am being stretched and tried and battling doubt and discouragement and I am asking why. As I cry out to God for relief it is then that He responds, "Well which do you want?" "Do you want to learn to trust me more and follow me more closely or do you want relief?"

God is good ALL the time. Remembering to trust Him ALWAYS!

My girls

My girls.

These are my girls. I love all our students and yes the girls hold special places in my heart. These three have been with me since our first moments in Abilene. During our senior tribute the four of us sat together held hands and glistened with tears. Happy tears. My heart was heavy with joy and deep with sadness over the end of an era. I am so proud of these beautiful young women.

That's right young women...not girls. (I need to remember that.)

There have been endless nights of laughing and sincere talking. So many questions I have answered (so many that I won't). So many times my cheeks have blushed on cue. They always try to make me blush with s*ex questions. They have woken me at 2 in the morning to do pyramids and chant the word s*ex while throwing up starburst wrappers as confetti. Needless to say they are excited about the future. Last year for our 10th wedding anniversary this group of girls threw me a "party" to equip me with what they thought I needed for our cruise. I humored them and went.

On a more serious note. I have had the wonderful privilege to see them come to Christ. We have shed tears together as repentance took place. The beauty of their willing heart before their ultimate lover is priceless. I watched it happen. I call our girls ministry "becoming" because we are in the state of becoming more like Christ. That is what these girls have become and I was present for it. There is no greater paycheck. These girls are not perfect, they have a lot of growing to do, then again so do I. So do we.

Here is what I wanted to say. I love them. My heart is wrapped in theirs. God did that and now it is time to say good bye.

Hard. Good. Right.

Love on.

Fun.

To enter an amazing contest go here. The winner of this contest will win some of this. Fun. Fun. Fun.

House For Sale

If you would like to see our listing click here.

For those of you visiting from our listing here is the slide show of other rooms. If you would like to see a picture of a certain room e-mail us and we will send it to you.

Thank You. Enjoy.

Pearls

This is a good story and a good read if you will. Ernest used this in his talk to the teens last Wednesday. I have not been able to shake the story. Let me know your thoughts.

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in an pink foil box.

"Oh Mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back in to the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you to do and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthdays only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy. Every night when she was ready for bed he would stop what he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny,

"Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey, Daddy loves you. Good Night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed in Indian style.

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy; this is for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.



So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our life so that he can give us the beautiful treasures.


Author Unknown

Shaking the Tears

Worship. It happened this morning. I must confess my personal worship time has been growing small. I have been on the edge of tears about everything. I teared up at the mother/daughter banquet last week because after seating everyone I couldn't find a place for the girl and me. In the slightest shake the tears flow.

This morning as I met my living room floor I surrendered. Once again. It is something constant in my life. I realized that I had felt so guilty about having these emotions that I have not been bringing them to him. I just love his patience. I dropped it all. I left my hurt and my attitude. There was a song playing on the radio that was saying Sing with me, dance with me, cry with me....It is alright to cry and have emotion...Just do it with me. How I was trying to hide.

Then another song came on and I jumped up in order to worship him with my whole self. With tears streaming down my face his words fell...It's been a while...I missed you.

I missed him too.

Here is the song that made me stand to my feet. It was played for me. At this moment in life it speaks volumes.

When I see you I have strength to face this day. In your presence all my fears are washed away.

If you have a few minutes watch this and listen to the words.

Mom

I love her. After being the mom of 5 children she still had love for one more. me. I am grateful to my mom and dad for choosing to love me and call me their own. I cannot even imagine life without them.

My mother kept me dressed to a T. Although it was her kind of T. I am serious ladies. She made me wear dresses to school and get this they had bells in them.

What was she thinking?

I finally understand. She wanted me to be beautiful and have the finest. In her mind frills are beautiful. We are so different. I think it would be weird if we were not.

In all my little girl party pictures you will find me in some of the laciest clothing. To this day I do not wear lace. That makes me smile.

My mom is amazing. She has taught me everything about love. There is no discrimination in her veins. She loves freely. Her life speaks love in motion. What a legacy she has. At this point in my mom an dad's life they are raising my 7 year old nephew. She is still mothering well past her mothering years.

It's good to be her daughter...

Randomness

Jamie has tagged me with this interesting survey. I have to list 7 random things about myself and here is the catch you will to if I tag you.

Here goes.

7. One day out of the blue (when I was 5 years old) I realized that I had red hair and that all my siblings and parents had the darkest brown hair ever. I couldn't understand why so I posed the question to my mom. She, not thinking I could understand adoption so soon, told me that when I was in the belly she must have drank too much red kool-aid. I was so satisfied with the answer that I shared it with my teachers and all my classmates.

6. As a child I had a weird love for Campbell's Chicken noodle soup. It is all I wanted to eat. It is still a comfort food to this very day.

5. In the last week I felt the effects of drinking too much. At least that is what my dentist tells me. Laughing gas as she states is a great high. She is so funny. She even was hoping that some would leak out and give her a buzz.

4. In high school I participated in the "Sand Dance". It was our officer modern contest routine and we were SAND. We performed it at our Spring Show and all the boys had to take a double look because of our nude unitards. They thought we were dancing naked. Looking back it was pretty provocative but I had not a clue. It was modern and we were playing the part of sand...what can I say?

3. At youth camp I was known as the girl with all the hair. I am serious. I would walk past people and I would hear them refer to me as that. How could they help it. My hair was HUGE. No I don't think you understand....HUGE!!!

2. While in labor the first time I swore that Norman Bates was in my room. The week before I was on bed rest and I watched a marathon of Psycho. Why did I do that? When the drugs took effect Norman appeared. We still laugh about this and no I have not watched Psycho again.

Drum roll please....

1. (Amy you might get a laugh out of this one) In 8th grade Mike Maple asked me to "go" with him. Truth be told I think that Nathan Smith asked me for him. I said yes. Middle school romance at its finest. The next morning before school I did not stand next to him while waiting for the bell to ring. How dare me. What mistakes I made. That very day Nathan Smith came back to me and said that Mike wanted to break up. Why? He said I wasn't aggressive enough. At least that is the story I got. My relationship lasted one day and not a word was ever spoken. Later that year I "went" with Nathan Smith. *Laughing*


Tag you are it.

Why stop at seven people? If you want to do it then by all means. Post it on your blog and let me know that you are in. I am such a rule breaker.

Yellow screams BUY me

In all the research that I have been doing about selling a house I have learned that the color yellow makes people want to buy. Can this be true? The tip is to put yellow potted flowers very close to the entry way door so that the prospective buyers feel the need to purchase. Today while browsing the aisles at Wal-mart I stopped over in the garden section and purchased two potted "yellow" flowers. Gerbera Daisies. I love them. Truly I will probably kill them and no one will want to buy because there are dead flower petals everywhere.

I will let you know how this goes. Do you have any house selling tips to share?

In other news...

Our resumes are ready to be sent. I have no idea where we are going to send them but we hope to send them somewhere by this weekend. We have not finished our informational cd but that is in the end stages. I ordered a picture to be sent with our resume and cd so it looks all kinds of "almost" professional.

Ernest's dad is an Assembly of God Pastor and what I remember most about his church is this phrase...

(He would say)God is good
(the people would say)All the time
(He would say)And all the time
(the people would say)God is good.

I love that. It is so true. God is good ALL the time!

The Road to the Waterpark

What do you say when people ask? It has been a week since the world has known of our departure. Everyone is curious. Everyone would love to know where we are going and what we are planning. What we have to tell them is...We don't know. It has been some kind of week. For the most part I have been feeling pretty confident in the movement of God. It (the deep worry pit in my stomach) just strikes in the moments when the look on their face turns to dread and even a deep worry or sadness for me. Then there is the exact opposite of you are just flying on faith aren't you?

To not have answers is always hard for me. I am a want to know kind of girl. God is teaching me so much.

Can I interject to say this: I love my house. I have loved this house since our good friends Caleb and Reagan owned it. I couldn't even fathom that one day it would be mine. This afternoon was spent on the porch reminding God all the things I love about my home. For instance, the tile counter tops, the loft, my new back porch, surely not last but our garage. It has been the first time I have ever has a garage door opener. I was surprised at the tears that streamed down my cheeks. Lord you just gave this to me do I really have to give it back now?

Then I remembered this time while driving with our kids to Branson from Springfield. We were taking them to a Waterpark for the day. They were so stoked. I cannot remember their exact age but we are talking small (preschool). If you know anything about Branson then you know that you pass a strip with a hundred hotels and attractions. The water park was at the end of this strip. Our girl could hardly wait. It got to a point that every time she would see a pool in front of a hotel she would say "daddy can we just stop here?" "No honey this is not the park that we are going to" she would then reply "I don't care about the park because this pool is big and I want to play here." This went on until we came to the park. When we walked beyond the entrance and she beheld all that was before her you better believe that she was glad that she did not settle for the measly pool.

We learned a lot that day. Today God brought that memory back to me a hundred fold. Do you see where I am going?

I don't know when we will get to the 'water park'. The drive may be long. I do know that I will be there when I am in his will. I will be happy there. I cannot stop short even if it means giving up my pretty counter tops.

I have been emotional today. I guess I will have these days. If you are still reading this...wow...thanks.

So yes, we still know nothing. There are many hard moments but God is pressing through them to reveal his perfect will. I stand in awe of HIM.

This is the adventure I had been asking for...

Funny Grins in the Midst of Pain

I am here. I do not really feel like me. Today has been packed with the treatment of drugs. Valium, Vicodin, and Penicillin have been taking over my brain. A throbbing pain has been present in my right bottom back tooth and today was the day. Root canal. Can I say pain. Let's just say that I do not like the feelings of the drugs. Ouch. Sorry some shooting pain just arrived and then fled. Thank God for the fleeing of pain.

My family is at church. I wanted to be there for our students tonight. I could barely walk when they left so I don't think I would have been much help.

Yesterday when I went in for my initial appointment they were laughing at me. Evidently on my chart I wrote that when my pain is intense is shoots to my right ear....except I wrote R ear. They thought I was explaining a shooting pain from my tooth to my rear. Oh My. I am out of sorts but that even made me laugh.

I feel the need to insert this now...*If this is not making much sense let's just chalk it up to the drugs*

I will let you all go on to the next blog. I will stay here with dizzy eyes and re runs of Everybody Loves Raymond. Ohhh...maybe a good time for DVR'd shows.

Let the loopiness continue.

Save the Sloth

Go to Save the Sloth site and do their challenge. I dare you.